LIFE LESSON #2
DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
As I get increasingly older, I find myself dispensing more and more unsolicited advice. I offer this advice with the acute awareness that I regularly ignore my own counsel. That being said, I persist!
Like most clichés, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” is widely overused and widely ignored. We all let little things bug us for reasons that sometimes are counterintuitive or, at least, lack logic. It is not unlike getting angry with inanimate objects. Throwing your golf clubs in the lake or smashing your tennis racket after a bad shot does not help your game. Letting little things bother you also does little to improve your circumstances. On the contrary, becoming fixated on the little annoyances of life can impede truly enjoying life and all it has to offer.
During your time in college, there are quite a few things that can get under your skin. Over the years, I think I have heard nearly everything that gets to students. Classic examples include problems with roommates. They snore, they are slobs, they stay up all night, they steal your stuff, they are not considerate—these are just a few of the many roommate grievances. Equally as popular are complaints against a faculty member. They are unfair, they are mean, they don’t like me, they expect us to listen and turn our assignments in on time—how rude!
Family pressures are also cited by many students as a source of unwanted stress. They expect me to attend every class, they want me to get good grades, they expect me to spend time with them when I am home for a break, they want to be able to ask me questions and then have the nerve to want an answer!
Of course, there are many other sources of aggravation: administrative red tape, schedule changes, cancelled classes (this one is far less annoying than most), bad weather, good weather, missed exams or assignments, and so on. The list is nearly limitless if you care to investigate.
My advice to students, whether they want to hear it or not, is simple: it will all work out. This is not meant to trivialize real problems, big problems, or genuinely significant challenges. These certainly occur during one’s time as a student. These kinds of struggles need to be handled in a serious manner. However, the “small stuff” problems are just that—small.
If you remember that certain problems are small by definition, it becomes reasonable to believe they can be worked out easily. There are certain things you can do to lessen the pressure and thus lessen the problem, or at least the way we allow it to affect us.
The first thing I would offer is this: don’t let things that annoy you build up. The more they build, these small problems have a tendency to feel like much bigger problems. To prevent that buildup, you have at least two options. One is to face them head-on and in real time. In other words, deal with the problem quickly and directly. This may or may not work, but it is worth a try before things get out of control. The second option is to find a way to let it slide. Don’t let little things take up much-needed headspace. Actively choose to ignore the small stuff.
Another approach when dealing with little annoyances is to try to find the humor in the offending item or person. If we see the absurdity in certain situations, it can be easy to laugh them off. If you think about telling a friend about something that bugs you, notice how often your friend’s reaction is a laugh or a chuckle. They can see the humor in something since they are not being directly affected by it. If you can shift to that perspective, the problem can suddenly seem to disappear.
While the idea of empathy seems to be under attack lately, I still believe it is a strong tool when dealing with trivial issues. If you try to be understanding with a person or situation that bothers you, it may change the way it affects you. We don’t always see situations from the other side—only from our own perspective. If you try standing in the other person’s shoes, it may be easier to gain perspective and even change your mind.
These are a few approaches meant to help mitigate the small problems that can consume us if we let them. It is possible that these tools or suggestions may simply not work. Keep in mind that one of the true benefits of earning a college degree is more than the education that comes with it. Another very important aspect of a degree is proof that we can persevere through a myriad of challenges. A college degree means many things. One of them is a testament that we can overcome challenges to reach a goal.
Finally, it is important to keep in mind one very simple truth: “stuff” happens, and that shouldn’t surprise you (see Life Lesson #1). It is part of everyone’s life. No one gets through life without having to endure hassles.
I will end this version of Life Lessons the way I ended the first one:
“Breathe in—breathe out, move on!”