Our experiences shape not only our perceptions but also our personalities and choices. They influence the way we interact with others and the world around us, providing a foundation for growth and understanding. By embracing new opportunities and learning from both successes and failures, we enrich our lives and cultivate empathy for others.
It is important to recognize the value of our experiences in life. Afterall, we basically are the combination of our collective experiences. Experiences are what make us all unique and different from one another. Even identical twins are not the same person because their experiences are not identical. To take it even a bit further, a clone, if that ever becomes a reality, would not be the exact same person unless they had identical experiences.
As we age, our experiences become the basis for our judgement and allows us to predict outcomes of various scenarios as the occur. The more experiences we have, the better our ability to predict outcomes. Often, this is referred to as wisdom that comes with age. Even things like intuition and gut-feelings can be attributed to distilled experiences. As we reflect on our experiences by way of memories, we gain wisdom and insight. With this ever-expanding wisdom and insight, we tend to make better decisions resulting in a life that is worth living. Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote; “All life is an experience. Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions.”
There are no real limits on the types of experiences we can have. However, to illustrate the way experiences can open our minds and improve the quality of our lives, I will focus on a select few that almost all of us can relate to as participants.
Travel
I have heard people argue the value of travel. Some might say they are happy where they are and have no interest in seeing how the rest of the world lives. I find this to be a very myopic point of view. In my life, I have repeatedly witnessed travel having profound effects on people. In my many years of taking students abroad, I have seen amazing transformations. Travel can lend perspective to one’s own life and existence. It can generate awe, a truly human-only emotion. Sometimes, travel can be a bit uncomfortable as it takes us from our comfort zones. The late Anthony Bourdain, a seasoned host of several popular travel and food series, said it best.
“Travel isn’t always pretty…the journey changes you; it should change you.”
He expands on this further; “As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life-and travel-leaves marks on you.”
What Bourdain suggests is that travel will expand your mind as you see things and experience placed different from your own little world. He warns that the more you see in your travels, the more you realize how little you know and how much more there is to experience through travel.
Eating
My dad used to like to say he was an eater, not a diner. In other words, he ate to live and not the other way around. Don’t get me wrong, my dad liked good food. He just wasn’t turned on by the experience of dining.
I, on the other hand, love to dine more than most other experiences. Going out to a restaurant is my favorite activity. My wife calls it my only real hobby. I don’t disagree. It has always thrilled me. Even as a young boy, going out to eat was a treat. I never understand when my daughter looks at me with contempt when I suggest going out for a meal. To each their own I suppose.
Sharing a meal with friends and family is a joy, usually. I have even experienced a kind-of buzz when eating certain foods. While we all need to eat to stay alive, the experience of dining and trying different foods can be elevating in many ways. Dining can be a shared experience which again, is distinctly human. Bourdain describes it this way.
“You can learn a lot about someone when you share a meal together.”
He is certainly not wrong. First dates, job interviews, business meetings, a family get together and many other situations call for sharing a meal to get to know or reconnect with someone. We come out of these experiences knowing more than we did before.
Events
There is a multitude of events we can choose to experience. Some folks can’t be bothered but most of us can see the value of experiencing or being part of an event or happening. Some events are structured and somewhat formal like a Broadway show or rock concert. Other events are less formal like going to a friend’s house to celebrate a birthday. Regardless of what kind of event you attend, you will come out of the experience enlightened and changed. You may be impressed or inspired, you may be challenged or even upset, or you may simply be satisfied to have been part of something. The point is, you can’t grow and evolve from an event if you choose not to attend. Singer songwriter Jimmy Buffet said in his song Manana, “Don’t try to describe a Kiss concert if you’ve never seen it.” He is correct in his assessment. You can only really describe something if you’ve experienced it first-hand. The English poet, John Keats once said; “Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced.”
Go to the ballet, attend a lecture, see a play or movie and your mind will open and expand because of that experience. The memories events will produce will add to your collective wisdom.
Socializing
“Man is by nature a social animal.” Aristotle
Being out in the world with other people and being social is an experience in and of itself. Friends, family, colleagues or whomever you decide to spend time within a social environment is critical for mental well-being. As humans, it is a fundamental part of our make-up. Unfortunately, in today’s modern environment, it is relatively simple to isolate yourself and wall yourself off from others. With the advancement of technology, it is possible to live entirely or largely without human interaction. We can order our food delivered to our house, we can work remotely, we can carry out many transactions on-line without the benefit of dealing with anyone. Likely, this is only going to become easier.
Without the experiences that come with being social, it is impossible to meet your full potential as a person. Ideas, thoughts, opinions and even disagreements with people in your social circle will help you to grow and hopefully be more in tune with the greater world. By not participating and isolating yourself, personal growth is stunted.
Not all of us are naturally social animals. We find inhibitions take control of our social actions by making it easier to be alone than to take a chance and put yourself out there in a social setting. It is something you need to fight if you hope to grow. I often react to an opportunity to engage with others with immediate resistance. For some reason, that is part of me. When I successfully overcome that desire to stay away and participate in some social setting, I am happy that I did and question myself as to why I resisted in the first place. The good news is, as I get older and have more positive experiences with socializing, I am lees resistant to the idea of it.
Being in Nature
Fewer things can be more awe inspiring than being out in nature. Whether it’s in the forest, on a mountain or by the beach, something about directly experiencing nature is humbling and transformative. Albert Einstein once said, “Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.”
Many folks, me included, find experiencing nature in whatever form, is an affirmation of how lucky we are to be part of it. I also find nature can help to refocus and rejuvenate one’s mind simply be being present in nature.
Pets
Experiencing life with a pet, or in my case, multiple pets can be very rewarding. Pets can improve the quality of their owner’s life simply by giving the owner something to be responsible for and care for with companionship the only expected return. Scientist agree pets can add to the quality and length of our lives. Rachael Ray sums it up this way, “I think having an animal in your life makes you a better human.” I believe that sentiment because I believe pets make us understand what kind of person we actually are, giving ample room for improvement.
Charity/Giving Back
Humans are the only animals that can feel a sense of empathy, what it feels like to walk in another’s shoes. It is one of the key characteristics that distinguish us from other animals. Experiencing the opportunity to participate in charitable activities and to give back without expectations of monetary awards has been part of humanity for a very long time. The feeling of helping those less fortunate gives us a sense of doing what is right for the greater good. Winston Churchill opined, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”
Not all charitable acts need to be part of a formal or organized effort. Simple things done on a regular basis can be just as rewarding. These types of experiences give us humility, a sense of purpose, a sense of grace and the confirmation that we can make a difference.
Our experiences make us who we are and how we see ourselves. As I get older, I reflect on the memories created from my many experiences and get a clear picture of the type of person I became over time. Hopefully, the good experiences outweigh the bad and we can reflect on our lives with little regret. I would say, that would be a reasonable goal for all of us.